My Best Is Not Good Enough

(looking back as parents of grown children – of which we have 8)

Isaiah 64:6 For all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; and all of us wither like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.

Why is it so hard to process with my children my failures and lack and insufficiency as a parent?

In a nutshell, I think the bottom line is pride again. I’m not aware of purposely neglecting my children. I did my best in seeking the Lord and trying to love and lead them well. When I become aware of being condescending, reproachful when I’m inconvenienced, and failed or did wrong, I try to genuinely apologize. And so…in the midst of this, I think I’m a good parent, even thinking I’m a better parent than anyone else I know…alibi: I don’t really know that much about other parents i.e. my best as being  better.

The fact is: the best of parenting deserves a failing grade for what a child needs. Only God can satisfy and totally meet a child’s physical/mental/emotional/spiritual needs of protection and provision and growth. And it is by God’s grace alone that there are healthy families and well-rounded and whole grown children who are seeking the Lord and walking by faith and wholeheartedly serving Him and raising their own children to the best of their ability.

Coming to acknowledge that my best is totally not good enough (however it compares to others) frees me up to grieve with my children for the lacks and losses they experienced in so many ways growing up and give much praise to God for His grace that has kept them and brought them through to a place of wholeness and holiness and wellbeing.

And I hope it’s freeing for them to know that while doing our best, their parents still failed them miserably… but God is the all sufficient One. His grace is more than enough and He alone can and will satisfy all their longing/need. And also, that their best will not be enough for their children as well.

2 Cor. 3:4-6 Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate …